jueves, 25 de marzo de 2010

Things I like, things I hate

I've frequently seen lists of likes and dislikes in other blogs, but though I planned long ago to make my own list, I never really had time or interest (mainly because I had other tasks to complete or articles to write). So, now that I don't have anything moreitneresting to post (^^U), I've decided to type it down. This time (hehe, I am SO planning to write more of this crap) I will focus on general suff: five videogames characters I like (and why), and other five videogame characters I hate (and why). Simple, right? Then stay tuned.

Things I like

5th- Isabella "Ivy" Valentine

Everybody's favourite boob-it-all martyr is one of the girls that really catch my eye and attention. Not only her breast merry-go-round festival, but also her devilish and deadly style of fighting (oh, I shan't ever forget how I kicked the computer's ass in the Game Cube) made me love her as much as I can love a woman. Or a little less. Anyway, she has been one of my references references (not the only one, for I know a few more femmes fatales) in videogame history. Oh, and I also adore her serpent sword. Probably the worst thing about her is the increase on chest meat on every released game she stars. I suppose it has its uses after all, if not, they woulnd't be putting more silicon crap on her poor almost perfect womanly body (I guess). You know what they say, "I like big tits and I cannnot lie", HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

4th- Boo.

As simple as that. If any of you do not like koopas, boos or similar creatures, you can right away go to hell. Boos are supercute, deadly and funny. I am talking of the ordinary ones, of course, the ones that chase you when they see your hot butt swaying through the world spread enchanted mansions. To me, they are the loveliest foes yo may find in Mario's games, hands down. What else could I say about these pure white hovering phantoms? I'm sure all of you guys love them too, even if you hide that love deep within your heart.

3rd- Kefka.

Now, he's got what it takes to destroy the world! Any doubt about it!? The funniest and bloodiest clown in creation will make you laugh you way right into expiry without even noticing it. His macabre-bound sense of humor and almost-literally piercing quotes (he's just too brilliant in Dissidia not to be mentioned and rementioned for all eternity) seduce everybody with no exception. His ways (a bloodfest!), his clothes, his loathing to all living forms and, above all, his contempt to everything but himself create this charming and smiley image of him. Why so serious, pal? :P Suck my duck! (I just needed to say that here, hahaha :P).

2nd- Richter Belmont.

The strongest guy in the lineage is my (and Buffy's) vampire slayer model ever. He's kind, he's strong and he's deadly as hell. That's just what I call a man. I bet you've never seen a hero like this. Besides, his game was a hit and it is as hard as nails to beat (at least so was the PSP remake for me). Besides, his costumes are delightful, and I do love his performance in Symphony of the Night (how'd have missed the most legendary game in the saga, come on!?), so what? Don't mess up with me or I'll whip your asses to a bleeding death.

1st- Yoshi.

It was crystal clear this cutest in the world character was my favourite, and I bet most of you think the same way I do. Who else could usurp mamma Luigi's inventor's place? Let's face it, Yoshi's the culmination of cuteness, colorness and practical gluttony (half of the meaning of these two words fits my own personality). No wonder that I have lots of Yoshi merchandising crap at home for absurd religious reasons.

Throughout my web life I've written more than once about this lovely yoshi named Yoshi. Bunch of my friends (at least some of them) are on sticks. xD I'm sorry! I couldn't help it. Back to normal now. Bunch of my friends know about my boundless worshiping him. He also gave birth to one of the most common expressions in my family. I mean, what else could possibly this child of the Heavenly Lord have to convince meven more people about his holiness?

Things I hate

5th- Master Chief.

Wow, a futuristic talking plastic war armor of limited strength. What will be next, a mage slime? Oh, wait, there are a few already. There is absolutely nothing I like in this guy. He's a soldier (aka brainless men), his shortest foes hit him harder than he'll ever do, he moans A LOOOOOOOOOT (well, that's actually pretty nice xDDDDD) and he runs like a lame lady. Excuse me! He's supposed to save the world, or some of them! I want a guy with personality, with conviction! I want a true man! Now where the hell is Joanna Dark when she is trully needed!?

4th- Pikachu.

Pikachu and its big-wet-eyes crew. Children must be hyper happy to see ultra sissy creature that make the world better by spiting water and running like a bat outta Hell. I admit the Pokémon series was cool at the beginning. The good ol' days in which that yellow rat was not so important, when all the childlish and cliché mythology of all pokémon was not but a financial success. There's no respect at all for our children anymore. Oh tempora; oh, mores!

3rd- Nightmare.

Soul Calibur has a tendency to create bonds of joy and hatred. That's probably because of the treatment of each character. In this case, the one I loathe is the game's big guy, Nightmare. The reason is simple: he's the torunament's mamma's boy, the teacher's pet. Call him whatever you want. I just despise those who can't stand on themselves without the undeniable help of the coreographers, aka those who chose the bitches' moves and comboes.

Besides, he's ugly.

2nd- Kratos.

Well, if it isn't Greece's most Hell-rotten badass. This wanker just sucks. What do you expect when you trade your life for victory in a combat? You deserved death, Kratos. I've never seen anyone so greedy as to pact stupidities with gods and then ask for a refound. Greedy and imbecile, if I may. You sold your life and soul, so for once in your life be a man and accept the consequences of your descissions. I am trully sorry mr. I-want-it-all here does not receive a slow and painful death. He even attempts to kill all the immortal gods! What in the world is going on in his mind anyway!? You just die, jerk! Just die!

1st- Sephiroth.

World's favourite emo maniac is the character I hate most in videogame history (that can think of now). The reason is simple: he is absolutely not worthy of the merit of being praised. He's a man, whose egocentricity and megalomania know no bounds, that just went completly insane that decides to destroy everything. What differences him from other cool villains is the fact that he went out of class, charisma and sense even before he was born. An angel, he calls himself. Please, grow up. I know better than to knee before such a cliché and soup-opera bad guy. Can we pleeeeeeeeeeeease get over that I-can't-live-without-eveyone-adoring-me mania??? Seph, my dear, go get a life somewhere else. You are not wanted here.

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